MIEブログ

田中美帆(MIE)オフィシャルブログ

【掲載】VERY2月号“家族のコトバ”に家族総出で出させていただきました。

【掲載】VERY2月号“家族のコトバ”に家族総出で出させていただきました。

こんにちは。MIE(@tanaka__miho)です。

本日発売のVERY2月号に掲載いただきました。

IMG_4456.png

家族のコトバという連載ページに4ページ(!)というボリュームで家族総出で掲載いただきました。
(主人のお母さんは恥ずかしいとの事で欠席)

娘のharuの出産から今に至るまでをライターさんにお話しました。
ライターさんと2人、電話で泣きながら取材を受けた日もありました。IMG_7484.png

思い出して、泣きすぎて落ち込んで。
そんな私を見て主人は何度も「そんな辛い思いして受けなくてもいいんやで。断ろうか。」と言ってくれました。

でも、haruが生きていた証を少しでもこの世に残したいし伝えたい一心で受けさせていただきました。

VERYは個人的にも1番好きな雑誌だし、読者も多い人気雑誌なので私やharuのことを知らない方にも知ってもらえるチャンスでしたから。
今は本当にお受けしてよかったと感謝の気持ちでいっぱいです。


 

私は、弱音を吐くことが苦手です。

ブログにも、あまり弱音を吐くことはありません。
(昔は書いてたかもしれませんが)

ですが、病気が発覚し、医師の言葉を聞くたびに胸を鷲掴みにされるような思いをし、さまざまな葛藤があり、どうしようもない気持ちになっていた事も事実。

そんな時に支えてくれたのは家族のみんなでした。
私ひとりでは、今こうして笑うことは出来ていないと思います。

彼と結婚して本当に良かった。
こんな人、なかなかいないと思う場面が何度もあります。

IMG_0240.png

娘が生まれて、家族との絆がより深まりました。

私たち夫婦は、どちらも一人っこ。
そこに生まれたharu。

両家にとって可愛すぎるのはいうまでもありません。

これでもかって位の愛情を全員が注いでいました。
それは今でも全く変わりません。

全員が今も自分の近くにharuがいると思っています。

半年しかこの世では生きれなかったけれど、こうして悠(はるか)という女の子が生きてたこと。

病気と闘って、最高に家族に愛されていた事を沢山の方に知っていただき、会ったことのない方にも「はるちゃん!」と呼んでもらえている事。

とても幸せに思います。
ありがとうございます。

きっとお空で呼ばれるたびに「ハーイ!」と返事していると思います!


読んでくれたみなさまありがとう

 

友人からも親戚ばりに写メ付きで買ったよー!と報告をいっぱいもらいました。
このような機会を私たち家族に与えてくださったVERY編集部の皆様に感謝です。

半年という短い期間でしたが、私たちの元に元気に生まれてきてくれて、こんなにも沢山の幸せをくれた娘。

こんなにも病気と真正面から戦い、最後まで生きることを諦めなかった娘を一番近くで見て、私も人生について考えました。

IMG_8252.png

街を歩いていても元気な子供ちゃんがたくさんいるのになんでharuだけ?と思ったことは正直何度もありました。

でも。
病院に行けば、娘と同じように戦っている子供ちゃんも沢山います。
私はもう小児病棟に行くことはなくなったけどあの病棟には、今も頑張ってる子供ちゃんとご両親が沢山いるんです。

病棟内では、ママと子供ちゃんが幸せそうに病院のフロアでいつも遊んでいました。

一見、健康の子は幸せで、病気の子は大変。って思われるかもしれませんが決してそうではないです。

確かに大変な事は山ほどあります。

心配は尽きないし、いつも不安でいっぱいで押しつぶされそうになる。
でも、子供の前で不安な顔は見せたくないから精一杯の笑顔で接する。

自分の感情とうまく付き合わないととてもじゃないけど正気でいられない状況も多々あります。

でも、そんな時だからこそ気付くことや教えてくれること、幸せに感じることもたくさんありました。

酸素チューブが取れただけで幸せ。
点滴が一種類減ったら幸せ。
うんちをしっかり出せたら幸せ。
笑ってくれたら幸せ。
病棟内を散歩出来たら幸せ。
酸素濃度が安定したら幸せ。
鼻チューブが外れたら幸せ。

幸せは日々転がりまくりでした。

IMG_8251.png

IMG_8250.png

娘が運んできてくれる幸せを、今もこれからも全部キャッチしていこう。
みんなで一緒にゆっくり進んでいきます。

 

 

スポンサーリンク


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